A Very Self-Centered Blog Post

Minggu yang sedikit berat.

Berbulan-bulan semuanya lancar, namun beberapa bulan belakangan mulai sedikit ada ombak2. Sampai akhirnya minggu lalu mulai ada sedikit identity crisis. Pertanyaan2 yang kalo didenger bikin malu macam: “Apa ini yang gue mau?” mulai muncul di kepala, dan itu mulai agak ganggu.

Dan kerikil2 lainnya yang gak bisa gue sebutkan satu-persatu 😀

Untungnya, belajar dari masa lalu, gue tahu bahwa gue gak harus cepet2 menemukan jawabannya. Kalo lagi kayak gini, biasanya gue masuk ke mode hermit, gue akan butuh banyak banget me-time, butuh gerak biar hormon2 di otak lancar (it helps), makan sehat (tapi satu coklat boleh dong), tidur cukup, dan butuh banyak ngobrol. Jadi gue memuntahkan banyak pikiran gue ke beberapa temen yang gue percaya, yang mana gue selalu bilang, gue ga butuh dikasih saran (kalo emang ga ada saran), gue cuma butuh didenger aja. minimal didengerin.

Alhamdulillah masih dikasih temen yang mau denger cerita gue, seberapapun gak pentingnya 😀

Dan pinterest-time. Gak ada yang lebih menenangkan daripada quote pinning.

fc589bf307a992f19448cb86391aeaef

quote yang belakangan jadi my personal mantra

Jadi ya gitu, semua berjalan (lumayan) lancar, tapi mood kadang masih suka mellow, jadi gue mendadak pengen posting sesuatu yang self-centered kayak jaman2 Friendster dulu.

Terus nemu artikel ini di internet dan memutuskan untuk bahas2 dikit apakah gue merasa cocok dengan yang disebutkan apa enggak. Yang italic dari artikelnya, yang biru komentar gue 😀

An extroverted introvert gives 14 real life examples of extroverted introverts

To relieve you of some confusion, here are a few things we’d like you to know about extroverted introverts.

social

1. Just because we like being around people doesn’t mean we want to talk.

Talking requires a lot of effort. For us, being around people is often enough to make us happy. I know, it’s a little confusing.

Satu2nya yang gue suka saat gue lagi di tengah keramaian adalah gue bisa fokus mengobservasi. As creepy as it sounds, gue suka liat orang ngobrol (itu kenapa gue suka liat video interview artis dan talkshow hhahaha), menyerap semua informasi soal orang2 itu dan menebak latar belakangnya. Gue seneng saat tahu mana yang dominan, mana yang submissive, mana yang kemungkinan broken home, mana yang introvert, dll dsb.

Kalau disuruh ngomong ya bisa aja dong. Tapi biasanya gue pilih ngomongin yang perlu2 aja, yang emang ditanyain aja, karena takut salah ngomong terus yang denger banyak. hahahaha.

2. We like hanging out one on one better than in groups. We’ll listen to you forever.

 

One on one hangouts are more intimate and we like that. It means we get a chance to actually get to know you and have a thorough conversation about what we really care about instead of making small talk that an entire group can contribute to.

Gue butuh mikir sebelum ngomong, dan biasanya kalo ngobrolnya agak ramean, saat gue mikir, orang berasumsi gue gamau jawab, jadi yaudah giliran ngomong gue diambil orang. Jadi kalau emang mau ngobrol dimana gue lebih nyaman untuk cerita, gue sih prefer one-to-one, lebih fokus, lebih enak. Gue bisa tanya dan cerita semua yang mau gue tanyakan dan ceritakan. Dan yang terutama, gue punya banyak waktu untuk mikir sebelum ngomong.

3. We suck at responding to texts because sometimes we don’t want to talk – to anyone.

It’s not that we hate people or that we’re annoyed. Sometimes we’ve just been around people so much that we’re exhausted from talking and texting and Skyping and we just don’t want to talk. We’re totally open to hanging out in person, just don’t expect us to talk too much when we’re in one of these moods.

Hate to admit it, but yes. Gue capek balesin whatsapp terus2an dan panggilan telfon yang kadang bikin jiper. Terutama kalo yang inisiasi obrolan bukan gue (kadang gue yang inisiasi pun gue suka capek ngeberesinnya). Gaktau kenapa, pikiran semacam: “hee… harus banget ya diangkat?” muncul di kepala, biarpun itu kadang telfon dari keluarga. Tapi kalo keluarga atau panggilan penting pasti diangkat sih, cuma ya itu, awalnya pasti ada malesnya (dikit). Gatau kenapa.

4. Despite needing our alone time, we do get lonely.

It’s difficult to balance between alone time and not feeling lonely. Often we’ll want to go out because we feel alone, but our apartment is so comfortable that we won’t want to leave.

Dilema rutin gue adalah pengen cerita tapi gak pengen orang terlalu banyak tahu soal gue karena takut orang2 ilfil atau capek denger cerita gue. Dilema lainnya adalah pengen deket dan kenal sama orang lain tapi gak pengen terlalu banyak menghabiskan waktu bareng orang lain karena takut nantinya tanpa sadar jadi ketergantungan.

INFJ at its best.

5. It’s hard to get us out, but we’ll have a great time when we go out.

Sometimes we’ll require some coercing to get us out of the house. Again, it’s not that we don’t want to go out, we just start thinking, “What if it’s not fun? I could totally be reading my book. What if the tickets are sold out? What if they don’t actually want me to go and they’re just inviting me to be nice? We begin to draw into our own heads and make up things that could go wrong and use them as excuses to not go out.

What if they don’t actually want me to go and they’re just inviting me to be nice? – THIS KIND OF THOUGHTS. All the time.

6. We’re not always the most talkative people in a group, but if someone is in need of a social life jacket, we can step up and offer that.

Again, we’ll happily chat someone up if the situation arises. We get that conversation can be uncomfortable, so if we see someone who is worse than us at holding a conversation, then we’ll take the initiative to make them feel more comfortable.

Satu waktu gue pernah memaksakan diri untuk lebih cerewet supaya gue bisa punya hubungan yang lebih baik sama kolega gue yang lebih pendiem. Karena kalo gak gitu, kerjaan gak beres2, dan gue butuh mereka untuk lebih nyaman ngomong sama gue, so that’s that.

7. We live in our heads even if it seems like we put ourselves out there.

Even when we’re being outgoing, our thoughts are still running and analyzing the situation.

Gue kebanyakan mikir, sih. Tapi biasanya masih bisa diajak ngobrol kok 😛

8. Because we can be outgoing and calculated at the same time, sometimes we end up being leaders. But that does not mean we want praise, nor do we want to talk about how great we are.

People seem to think that we’re fit to be leaders. We can stand up and talk in front of crowds when we need to. We can make decisions when we need to. But we often analyze ourselves and don’t think highly of our skill sets. Sometimes we don’t believe we’re good enough to lead. We always think we can be better so praise often makes us cringe.

I am not leader. Gue prefer jadi orang di balik layar yang bisa kasih support (kinda like Genie di Aladdin) atau konsultan, atau penasihat, dan dikasih apresiasi atas dukungan gue. Gue merasa lebih happy saat gue bisa bantu orang lain mecahin masalah atau tantangan di hadapan mereka. 😛

9. We bounce between wanting to be noticed for our hard work to panicking over the thought of somebody else paying more than 30 seconds of attention to us.

Sometimes we want attention, other times it’s hard to believe anyone would spend more than 10 seconds on us.

Sebagian dah dijawab di atas :)). Eye contact bikin gue gak nyaman, tapi kadang suka dipaksain karena takut dibilang gak sopan. Tapi kalo gue ga harus peduli, gue prefer ngobrol cuma liat sesekali aja, sisanya ngeliat plafon, meja, atau jari tangan.

10. People think we’re flirtatious. We’re not.

We understand that interacting with people is a necessary part of life. So we make an effort to do it intentionally, and genuinely want people to know that they have our undivided interest and attention.

gue kadang terlalu baik dan orang suka salah paham. The truth is, kalau gue baik sama lo (contoh nyata: kasih makanan, remember small things about you) means gue care dan sayang sama lo.Tapi gue punya banyak tingkatan care dan sayang, dan gak selalu care dan sayang yang melibatkan ketertarikan seksual.

Dan gue suka bete karena social norms gak mengizinkan gue untuk mengungkapkan hal2 kayak “gue kangen ma lo”, “gue pengen ngobrol sama lo”, tanpa dicurigai kalau gue ujung2nya minta lebih ^^;

11. We’re at our happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself.

 

We just like being around people, even if they’re strangers. It’s the compromise of beingaround people but not having to talk to them.

 

Gue belakangan lagi males ke satu tempat aerobik langganan gara2 ada yang ngajak gue ngobrol di sana. Ada beberapa tempat yang gue asosiasikan sebagai tempat dimana gue bisa fokus doing my own things, kayak misal cafe langganan tempat gue nulis, tempat aerobik, dll dsb, biasanya gue gak terlalu suka kalau konstan diajak ngobrol pas lagi di sana.

12. We really don’t like small talk.

We’d avoid small talk if we could. We want to really get to know you. We want to know what you think about, what your goals are, what your family is like. We don’t want to talk about how bad the weather is. But if that’s what you’re comfortable talking about, then we’ll talk about it.

Gue suka merasa small talk itu mengambil waktu berharga yang sedianya bisa gue gunakan untuk ngobrolin hal yang sebenernya lebih bikin gue tertarik, kayak buku favorit, dan hal2 konyol kayak kalo ada serangan zombie kaburnya kemana dan apakah mereka percaya zombie apocalypse itu akan terjadi. Tapi gue ga mau creepy, jadi yah biasanya small talk dulu aja.

13. We don’t actually have a staple “group” of friends.

 We often pick and choose one or two individuals from different social groups that make up our closest friends. But we make this handful of best friends our life and we’d do anything for them.
I believe in quality over quantity. Less is more. Managenya juga lebih mudah, lebih realistis. Bukannya sombong, sih. Tapi gue sadar bahwa gue gak punya energi dan kualitas untuk jadi orang yang punya sahabat di sana-sini. Jadi, yah. Less is more for me.

14. If we like you, we really like you. We’re extremely picky about who we spend our time and energy on. If we’ve hung out multiple times, take it as a compliment.

Seriously. If it’s such a struggle to talk to people and if we get so exhausting going out, it’s a big deal if we’re willing to spend our time and energy with you. It isn’t to say that we’re full of ourselves. We just wouldn’t want to spend that energy with people whose company we don’t enjoy.

Gue bisa mengiakan untuk bagian dimana gue gak setengah2. Suka ya suka, gak ya gak. Tapi soal picky… gue sih masih gaul2 aja ya kayaknya sama semua orang. Tapi gak semua orang get to know the real me, dan biasanya apa yang gue share ke satu orang itu ya gue maksudkan untuk orang tersebut. Kalo besoknya dia share ke orang lain apa yang dia dengar dan temukan dari gue, gue suka agak bete. Ya bukan rahasia sih, tapi ya… gue lebih suka aja kalo semuanya disimpen antara gue dan dia. Kalau gue pengen orang lain tau, biar gue yang kasitau.

———–

Mayan nih, jadi agak ringanan 😀 Besok2 bikin lagi ah postingan ala2 friendster 😛

Mandhut.

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